The Lighthouse Method: How to be Non-Anious In an Anxious World

To the black and brown cycle breakers, standing at the intersections of expectations and realities, this is your guiding light.

“When the winds of change blow, some people build walls, and others build windmills.” 

That’s an old Chinese proverb, but I’m gonna remix it for our contemporary trailblazer: 

“When the winds of expectation blow, some crumble under its pressure, while others stand tall, guiding like a lighthouse.”

The narrative of black and brown cycle breakers is profound — you're pioneers, navigating uncharted territories, breaking generational chains, and rewriting stories. 

You know what's important when you're leading? It's staying true to yourself, even when the world around you is chaotic.

To all those feeling the weight of being the floodlight for everyone else, remember, even a lighthouse needs maintenance. 

Drawing parallels between an iconic lighthouse and Edwin Friedman's work, Failure of Nerve, this framework serves as both a reminder and a guide to cultivating a non-anxious presence amidst storms.

1. Foundation (The Base of the Lighthouse):

Know Your Core Values: Every structure's strength is its foundation. Align with your values; they're your North Star amidst chaos.

Self-awareness: The battles outside are fierce, but the internal wars? Even fiercer. Recognize your triggers and own them before they own you.

2. Beacon (The Light):

Shine Your Inner Light: Within you lies an inexhaustible reservoir of resilience and wisdom. Light up your journey and, by extension, light up others'.

Clarity In The Fog: The world's noisy. Tune into your frequency, make informed choices, and remember clarity is power.

3. Sturdy Walls (The Structure):

Emotional Boundaries: Let not every critique, expectation, or emotional tide breach your defenses. Your energy is precious; guard it. Check out my ON EDGE album on Itunes

Guard Against External Pressures: Stand tall, resilient. Wear your experiences not as chains but as badges of honor.

4. Elevated Perspective (The Height):

Stay Above the Chaos: In the eye of the storm, maintain a bird’s eye view. Not everything demands your reaction.

Objective Viewpoint: Amidst the craziness, train your ears to hear the unspoken, to discern the undercurrents beneath overt expressions.

5. Guiding Others (The Purpose):

Be a Point of Reference: In your journey, light paths for others, but remember, they must walk their own paths.

Empathetic Listening: Listen, not just to respond, but to understand. But beware, for empathy without boundaries can drown you.

6. Maintenance (Upkeep and Self-care):

Regular Check-ins: A lighthouse keeper knows the value of upkeep. Regularly tune in, repair, and rejuvenate.

 Self-Care Rituals: This isn’t luxury; it’s survival. Find your sanctuary and guard your peace.

7. Alarm System (Early Warning):

Recognize Signs: The sea’s treacherous, with hidden icebergs. Detect and navigate away from energies that throw you off balance.

Immediate Grounding Techniques: Sometimes, you need an anchor. Find grounding rituals that restore your balance.

To every trailblazing cycle breaker out there: 

The world may view you as their lighthouse, but guarding your own guiding light is okay. 

Tending to your flame is right, ensuring it burns bright for times to come. 

With the Lighthouse Method, let’s ensure the light never dims and the beacon stands tall, shining resolutely against the darkest of nights. 

Stand tall, illuminate, and lead.