To the black and brown cycle breakers, standing at the intersections of expectations and realities, this is your guiding light. “When the winds of change blow, some people build walls, and others build windmills.” That’s an old Chinese proverb, but I’m gonna remix it for our contemporary trailblazer: “When the winds of expectation blow, some crumble under its pressure, while others stand tall, guiding like a lighthouse.”

One of the most challenging lessons I've learned is that it's possible to grieve improperly, to move too swiftly through the stages, brushing aside the complexity of emotions because they're too heavy to bear. However, improperly handled grief can have long-term consequences. Today, as a "veteran of grieving," I want to share seven signs that you might not be grieving in the healthiest way possible.